what. the. fuck.

And people wonder why I don't love my mom. My mom even knows I don't love her. In a way, I'm glad she knows, but she thinks it's a joke sometimes. Just to clear this up, I don't love you. I don't know how long this has gone on for. I don't know how long ago I realized it. It was probably somewhere in between you crushing my dreams, getting yelled at for something I didn't do, and your two-hour long lectures that I'm not allowed to have a say in. I hate to break it to you, but I do what you tell me to. I don't argue. I haven't in a while. I don't lie to you. I obey you, because it avoids problems. I don't argue or talk-back because my voice jolts your memory back a couple years and makes you start yelling at me for something I don't even remember doing. I don't even know how you can start yelling at me for something I haven't even gotten the chance to do. I don't lie to you, but you seem to think I do. Once you have a story in your head, there's no point in trying to change it, so I don't even bother. I tell you the truth because I want you to know what really happened. Actually, now that I think of it, I lie a lot. I lie because of that story I was talking about. If you accuse me of doing something I didn't do, then I'll tell you I didn't. If your just gonna take that opportunity to give me a lecture on lying and how what I did was wrong, then I don't even bother telling you what really happened. Bitch, you have anger issues to the max. I don't know when this started happening. I thought you were just PMSing or something when this happened two years ago. It never stopped, so I knew I was wrong. Why is it that every time I try to say one word to my brother, I'm all of a sudden in a bad mood. How can I be in a bad mood without even knowing it? I swear, you write these lectures in your head, and then look for a place to throw them into my day. I wish I wasn't sick right now. You feel the need to keep me home the second I start sniffling. I need to fake a miraculous healing or something. I need to pretend that I feel fantastic tomorrow because I can't take being kept in this house all day again. I want to get out of here. Kill me.