Heck, its christmas(:

It's christmas, and for the first time in a really long time, I'm happy. I finally feel some sort of peace. I don't know how it happened, but I knew it would.

Christmas presents! yaay! I got: Cooking Mama for DS, Brain Age 2 for DS, laptop desk, complete with a desk light, a compartment for pens/pencils/paper, and a mouse pad, i got black american eagle boots, wii sports resort, Up on blu ray, Apples to Apples, a Sketch Pad, $50, $25 to Kohls, $25 to Forever 21, chineese checkers, burts bee's lotion, a jacket, and another wii remote.

Now, that is your cue to come play with me and keep me from being lonely. :D

OH don't mind this next part
Notea to selfs:
Don't take the road to the left. Unless He tells you to. Maybe it's supposed to be that one, even though it's the hardest

The girl is asian, possibly wearing all white

College, when you're 19, almost 20.

Never, ever, doubt you're feelings.

If the asian girl uses her common sence, you won't have to go through all the pain.

It was christmas time.

Maybe, you're SUPPOSED to help her. Maybe she's SUPPOSED to forget for a while. Maybe it's supposed to make you stronger in the end. It might be His plan for you.

The area is still covered with a light fog. This could go either way, do not ever forget.

Its funny what a bible verse can do.

"Our struggle isn't against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities, and the powers of this dark world" Ephesians 6:12

Just Another Stupid Child

I suppose this is just gonna be a little rant for a while.

The only times I ever have anything to write about, is when something bad/upsetting/sad happens. It almost bugs me. But them again, those rare times something good/cherishable/happy happens, I try too hard to live in the moment, but those moments are slowly forgotten. Because those happy times are so rare, it feels like those horrible moments brainwash me in to forgetting I was ever happy. I feel so stupid for saying things like "I hate my life" or "My life sucks" because I know I need to be greatful for everything God has given me and for everything he has blessed me with. Honestly, I think it's God testing how we'll react when the people around us try to push us to be suicidal. I think he makes us live with it for so long, because it's a test. He wants to see if we were strong enough to make it out. He wants to see if we were strong enough to keep our faith in Him.

Maybe I'm over-anylyzing. I hate it that I do that.

I hate how when I'm having a bad day, that seems to be the day that everyone wants something. For example: Today, I was scared awake by my little brother wanting to play. I was so tired. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. About half an hour later, my mom calls me over and says I need to get ready. We aren't freaking doing anything today. I want to sleep. I'm cranky now. Why do I have to get ready, if I'm just gonna sit around untill she thinks I'll be useful? Then my sister comes in, trying to say goodmorning, but ends up PURPOSLY banging my head into the wall. UGH. I have a headache.

Another think that happened today: My mom decides she wants to "have a nice family dinner at least once this week, because if we don't do it tomorow, we won't for the rest of the week." Um excuse me? CHRISTMAS IS THIS WEEK. Are you telling me your gonna leave your children alone go get drunk on CHRISTMAS?
Anyways, the reason she said that is because after i already told people I could go to their parties, my mom decided she wants me home, but she needs an excuse. Then I got a lecture on why my friends shouldn't be important to me and how "my family will always be there for me." Excuse me, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE FOR ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. Why do you think I hate living here? Why do you think I'm always in a bad mood at home? Why do you think I try to spend so much time away from you? UGH I'm crying again, and I can't see the screen. Thank goodness I know how to touch type.

Yet another thing that happened today: I'm always getting blamed for anything bad that happens in this house. "Sophia, i can't find my keys. What did you do with them?!" "Sophia, you left a knife out on the counter! You could've hurt your siblings!" "SOPHIA! My room is a mess. WHAT DID YOU DO?!" "Sophia, you put the ironing board out wrong. Remember next time..." In case you hadn't noticed, all these things I'm getting blamed for, are the things my mom is doing. UGH.

I really wanna write more, but I'm starting to question this. Do people really actually care about anyone but themselves? Do they really take time out of their day to read a stupid little girl's blog? Does it even matter if someone reads it? UGH i have a headache again. I wish I could go at least ONE DAY without crying.

Impulse

is a really good book. LOL

I have a bad feeling I'm reading these out of order. I am completely done with glass now. I finished crank a long time ago. I think I'm gonna read burned now. I don't know.



"As you go through life you'll see, there is so much that we, don't understand.

And the only thing we know, is things don't always go, the way we plan

But you'll see everyday that we'll never turn away, when it seems all your dreams come undone.

We will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride.

We are more than we are, we are one."

-Simba in Lion King 2 :D First Verse of "We Are One"



I think I'm crazy. I've been typing out lyrics by myself.



So how are you? Oh, thats good. Really? Oh dang, cool. No way. NUH UH ! NOOO! OH DANG! Thats so weird. Oh, I see. Ahh yes. GOTTA CATCH EM ALL. POKEMON !



mkay, I think I've talked to myself enough for today. I miss my little english journal. I didn't think it would become such a habit.



I bought light grey eyeliner today! It's so pretty! And I bought these really pretty eyeshadows. So now, I'm good on makeup for the rest of freshman year.



I would like to go to the beach right now. In the cold. Just lie down on the warm sand and wait for the water to carry me away. Far away. Start a new life. Then go to the beach there and just fall asleep like a little homeless person. Hope and pray the police don't find me. But they do: "I'm sorry, sweetie, but we have to take you home now." "I have no home" "Where's your mommy and daddy." "I don't know." "Where do you live?" "Everywhere." "Oh okay, I guess we'll just have to leave you here. Before we go, have a doughnut." "Thanks, Officer." And then the waves will carry me away to somewhere new, and I'll have all sorts of adventures, all around the world. Something new everyday. A new name, everyday. I should write a book about a little girl like that. I bet it would sell. LOL



I really hate random blogs. Don't you?



"It's you and meee. I know it's my destiny! POKEMON! Oooooh you're my best friend, in a world we must defend. POKEMON!"



The end(:



-SophiaFregoso(:

If anyone cares.

I've been watching Aladin, Tarzan, Elf, Polar Express, Spirited Away, and Lion King 2 over the past 2 days I've been sick, and if there is anything I've learned, Lion King 2 has some music that's incredibly empowering. Oh, and I wrote these lyrics out myself, so I apologize if the chanting is not entirely gramatically correct.

Link to the music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apEuFdzP5ZU&feature=related

He Lives in You
Night, and the spirit of life, calling
Oh, oh, iyo
malema oh, oh, iyo
And the voice, with the fear of a child, answers
Oh, oh, iyo, oh mamena oh oh iyo
Omo switchy vososomo oco yesi yesi oh so so que
Wait! ait, ait, ait...
There's no mountain too great
Hear the words and have faith
Oh, oh, iyo
Have faith.

Hela hey mamela, hela hey mamela
Hela hey mamela, hela hey mamela
He lives in you, he lives in me
Hey hey mamela
He watches over, everything we see
Hey hey mamela
Into the water, into the truth
Hey hey mamela
In your reflection, he lives in you

Ey manyana ay manana baba
Ingonyama, nengenamaba

He lives in you, he lives in me
Hela, hey mamela
Hela, hey mamela
He watches over, everything we see.
Into the water, into the truth
In your reflection, he lives in you.
He lives in you.
Oh, mamela
Oh, mamela

So wait, theres no mountain too great.
Hear the words and have faith.
Have faith.
Heaeeaeeay

He lives in you, aaaah
He lives in me,
Hela hey mamela
Hela hey mamela
He watches over, everything we see
Into the wataaahaaaha, into the truth
In your reflection, hela hey mamela
He lives in you.
Yoooououu

He lives in you,
He lives in me,
He watches over, everything we see.
Into the water, into the truth
In your reflexion
He lives in you.
He lives in you.

Nightmares

I've had that same dream more than once this weekend, and I still can't understand it. However, I honestly think part of it was forgotten, like any other dream, and my paranoid mind filled in the gaps, but here it is:

Our story opens as the three of us are on the beach, the two girls and the boy. We're having so much fun, smiling and playing as if we didn't have a care in the world, because to us, there was nothing to worry about.
The boy gets hungry, and the girls both laugh and agree. They see a little resturant on the left side of the beach, and they decided it would be fun to go check it out. They begin the walk over, and are still smiling and laughing, just like friends should be.
It begins to get cloudy, but the three don't notice. It was a warm, sunny day. It shouldn't be getting cloudy and cold. They're still too layed back to care.
As the three are walking, it begins to look like they aren't even getting any closer to that resturant. Just the oppisite actually, it seems they're getting farther and farther. It's pouring rain, and its starting to get dark. The three can't even see what's in front of them, and they have no idea where they are, or what time it is.
Out of no where, a tornado comes out and scoops up the boy. Out of instinct, the girls run for the boy and try to save him. At that exact moment, a giant wave comes up, and grabs one of the girls. The last girl is so scared. She doesnt know what to do. She doesn't know who she should try and save. Her heart is racing, her mind won't work. The girl realizes the worst thing she can do is nothing, but she doesn't have much time. She can't hurt one by saving the other, so what does she do?
She see's that the girl is moving faster, and farther, and the boy is still close and not moving nearly as fast, so she races for the girl and back to grab the boy. She succeds, but is now being torn apart. Out of the corner of her eye, the girl see's those three boys. The boys she just met from the other side of town. They run over to try and help her. When they get there, its too late. The girl's body wouldn't let her hang on to the two, so she is forced to let go, and she tumbles to the ground. The three boys run over to her, and try to comfort her, but the girl is in shock by what she has just done, and she crys. The boys are now disapearing, and they become totally invisable, gone.
The girl is lost, and now she has no one. She doesn't know what to do. And then she seems him. One of her closest friends, and he's yelling her name, running torwards her. Finally, the girl has just a little bit of hope left. Then she realizes that the boy is putting all his strength into running torwards her, but he isn't getting anywhere. The wind is pushing him away. She just can't bear to think that he might leave her too. She runs torwards him, and as the two are within reaching distance, they are thrown back, and on to the ground. The girl races up and runs over to the boy, but he's dead.
The girl puts her head into her knee's and crys. She's entirely alone, and the world turns black.

And then Sophia jumps awake to the sound of crashing and yelling.

Music Helps

and it helps a hell of alot more than i realized. Heres some of the lyrics I found:

"...because you never let them see you sweat
don't want them to think the pain runs deep.
Lord knows it's killing me.

So i put on my makeup,
Put a smile on my face.
And if anyone asks me,
everything is okay.
I'm laughing coz no one,
knows the joke is on me.
Coz im dying inside,
with my pride
and a smile on my face,
on my face.
Singing lalalala. lala. lala. lalalalalala."
-From 'Smile' by Tamia

"You would not believe your eyes,
If ten million fireflies,
Lit up the world as I fell asleep.
'Cause they fill the open air,
And leave teardrops everywhere,
You think me rude,But I would just stand and
stare.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns
slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems...

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs,
From ten thousand lightning bugs,
As they tried to teach me
How to dance.
A foxtrot above my head,
A sockhop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems...

Leave my door open just a crack.
Please take me away from here
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac.
Please take me away from here
Why do I tire of counting sheep?
Please take me away from here
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep.
Please take me away from here

To ten million fireflies,
I'm weird 'cause I hate good-byes,
I got misty eyes when they said "Farewell",
But I'll know where several are,
If my dreams get real bizarre,
Cuz I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.

I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns
slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake
when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems..."
-From 'Fireflies' by Owl City

"Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out..."
-From 'Halo' by Beyonce.

"When you're feeling sad and blue,
don't you know that I will always,
Be here for you.
When everything just makes us go out of our minds,
just know that I will always,
Have the time for you.
You say that I am your influence.
You should know that you inspire me.
Now until the end.
I'll help you get through the thick and thin
and I know you'll remember when
I say,

You are strong, strong as a soldier.
Even when winds are tough
you'll always keep it together.
You are
strong, strong as a soldier.
I know you'll get through anything, 'Cause you're strong, strong, strong as a soldier.

When the waves are crashing down,
Can't get up. Just know I'll,
Pick you up from the ground.
When it feels like everything goes wrong,
just remember to listen to this song..."
-From 'My Soldier' by AJ Rafael

Theres more too, but this is all i have time for.

It hurts

You don't realize it do you?

How you worded it, or what you said ?

He was right,

It's a sugar-coated "I love her, not you. Leave me alone"

It hurts how nothing can ever be the same.

It hurts how you don't seem to care.

Nothing you could ever say could numb the pain.

And I have to hold it in,

because you don't want to talk in private anymore.

It hurts so much more than you could ever know.

I told you, I understand.

Now leave me alone.

I don't want to see you on monday.

I can't.

But I can't avoid you either.

I wish we didn't have the same friends.

I want to go see them,

and I can't avoid you in the process.
I'm talking to them right now.
Trying to find ways to see them without seeing you.

I can't bear to face you.

I just can't.

It hurts too much.

What am I going to do?

You're so blind,

You don't realize anything you've done.

It hurts.

Please, at least try to realize that.

I can't even tell you how much I don't want to see you.

I'm scared.

I'm not going to hug you.

I'm not going to say hi.

I'm not going to text you.

I'm not going to call you.

I'm not even going to say bye to you.

If you want to, then fine.

I'm not going to do anything first.

I don't even know if I would do any of it back.

It hurts that I have to think like this,

but i have to.

It's going to be uncomfortable talking to anymore,

and that hurts.

Don't text me anymore.

I'm not reading them.

I'm deleting them all.

You're wasting your texts.

Please, just leave me alone.

It hurts too much.

I'm so sorry.

So, what do you do when someone "in short" tells you to stop caring about them?

Yeah, I cry.

Who wouldn't?

I'm so sorry I hurt you.

I'm sorry I let it go this far.

But I can't say I'm sorry I care about you.

You'll always have a special place in my heart.

I'm sorry I kept reminding you.

Sometimes I wish I had never met you.

It would make things so much easier.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

I treat you like I treat most of my guy friends.

I'm sorry you don't want that anymore.

Of course it hurts.

I could never lie to you and say it doesn't.

Of course I'm crying.

If you ask, I can't lie to you, but I pray you don't.

You said you didn't want me to cry.

I'm sorry.

I let you down again.

You said it shouldn't change anything.

But it changes everything.

I'm so sorry.

Of course I didn't like you.
Of course I'm not in love with you.

The fact that you kept repeating everything I had done wrong,

just made me cry even more.

I'm so sorry.

I did look at it from your point of view.

I guess I can understand where you're comming from.

I have to understand.

Maybe I'm just different. Maybe it's because I have more close guy friends.

I don't even know if you have as many close girl friends.

I really wish this didn't hurt me so much.

I'll still always care about you.

I just can't show it anymore.

Like I said, you'll always have that special place in my heart.

I just cant show it.

Please, never forget the bond we used to have.

I know you didn't want it to change.

But it changed everything.

I'm so sorry.

So, its been a while

Okay, so I admit, it's been a while. I've been crazy busy and I'm finding ways to vent that aren't over a little blog. This time, however, this is my only venting tool. I know that probably no one is gonna read this. I know that no one probably cares. Just let me think what I want to, okay?



Every single time that I get to come home just a little bit happy, SOMEONE just has to go out of there way to kill it and break me down again. I'm not even sure if I was happy when I came home. I just remember I didn't feel like crying when I walked through the door. I'm almost supprised that I can consider that "happy". I honestly don't remember what happiness feels like. I want to say that it's sad and feel sorry for myself, but I can't. That will get me no where. Every single morning, I have to wake up, fight tears, and put on a smile when I come to school. Honestly, I'm getting tired of it. I feel like my body is getting sick of listening to my mind. I honestly feel like I'm being ripped apart from the inside. I hate my life. I know that there are people out there who have lives that are much much worse than mine. I am thankful that I am not them. Still, more than anything, I want to be happy. Just one more time. I want to get out of this house and be with the people who don't hate me. I want to be with the people who care. I want to be away from all of the bullshit in the world. I want to be with the people who don't want to make me cry all the time. Away from the drama, and the stress, and the crap, and the tears. Nothing is worth my tears. People like them aren't worth my tears. I will never give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Never give them the satisfaction of knowing they can hurt me. Sometimes I want to cry. I want to make them feel bad for treating me like shit. But I can't. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm sick of everything. If I could get away from it right now, I would. Sometimes I want to run away. So far away. Run away and never, ever come back. To be able to start fresh. To live a carefree lifestyle. To live my life the way I want to. But running away from my problems won't do any good. My parents want me off the computer. They want me to get away from this virtual world I've created for myself. They want to know why I spend countless hours on this computer. The truth is, this is my only distraction. My only escape. The only place where I can get away from everything and just pretend it doesn't exhist. The only place I might actually be able to finally be happy. I wish it didn't have to be in this stupid computer. Honestly, I do. But it can't be. And it never will be. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling like worthless shit all the time. I want to get away from it, and I can't.

I'm stuck here in an endless portal, a black hole of tears. I'm climbing, screaming, begging someone to help me out. Some people stop by to help me, but they can't always pull. They are forced to leave, and I fall back in. Deeper and deeper untill I'm sure that I'm stuck here forever. Please, somebody, anybody. Help me. Please.

-Sophia

MLIA special!

I've been reading through some recent MLIA's and seriously, some of these are pretty dang epic. So I decided I wanted to share them with you! Please enjoy the following mylifeisaverage posts(:

Today, I went to the mall and yelled, "I love you!" to the people below. One person looked up and yelled back, "MLIA sucks! MLIG rules!" 5 minutes into a heated debate, a security guard kicks the man out and says, "I love you, too. MLIA rules." I feel like we've won. MLIA.

Today, I was googling random things. I stumbled across an article that talked about how a police officer caught a criminal by yelling "Marco" into a building. The criminal responded "Polo". I am now seriously considering becoming a cop. MLIA

Today, I texted I love you to my teacher's cell phone because she doesn't know I have her number. She responded My Life is Average. She just became my favorite teacher. MLIA.

Today, I was at the supermarket with my mom and I saw a Hillshire Farm product. I thought of the commercial and said, "When I say Hillshire you say farm, Hillshire!" not expecting anybody to say anything. Somebody behind me screamed "FARM! GO MEAT!" This easily made my month. MLIA

Today I decided that everytime a person walked by my vehicle I would turn on the lights and hide underneath the dashboard to make them think my trucks a transformer. 3 people screamed. I was amused. MLIA.

Today, I watched "The Little Mermaid." I laughed at the line, "Everything's better, down where it's wetter." I laughed even harder when I realized a crab sang that line. MLIA

Today, I received an "I love you" random text from my area code. I replied, "MLIA?" They answered, "OMG will you marry me?!" I said yes. It ended up to be a guy from my school. It was awkward. MLIA

Today, at work, I saw a man who came in every day and ordered the same thing. I rung up his order before he said anything. He then proceeded to have a ten minute conversation with another customer about my amazing telepathic powers. It made my day. MLIA

Today I taught my mom how to use the word "tool" when describing someone. She called me downstairs ten minutes later to show me that the weatherman was "exhibiting the characteristics of a complete tool". I hugged her and told her I'd never been so proud of her. MLIA.

Today, the girl I was babysitting started crying because she didn't get her way. At that moment, Fergie's song Big Girls Don't Cry started playing. I felt like the radio was trying to teach her a valuable lesson. MLIA.

Today, my friend and I were yelling over who would get to drink form the tall water fountain. A little old lady got there before us, drank from it and said "I won." It was the coolest moment of my life. MLIA

Today, I was driving when I saw a billboard with two messages on it. One side warned against child obesity while the other half advertised McDonalds. I laughed at the irony. MLIA.

Today my dad made a sad excuse for a "that's what she said" joke. Trying to be cool, I said "dad, that doesn't fit." He replied with "that's what she said." I have never laughed so hard in my life. MLIA

Today , I went to the new Harry Potter movie with a friend . At the part where Dumbledore died , a man close to the front row yelled "NO!" and ran out the emergency exit door . It made my day . MLIA .

Today, I decided to keep the 'i love you' trend going, so I called an infomercial saying I love you. They sent me a free shamwow and said MLIA-ers unite! Highlight of my summer. MLIA.

Today, my teacher's phone stopped working. He was shouting at it to work. I eventually said solemnly, "He's dead, Jim." Turns out my teacher is a Trekkie. And his name is Jim. I am officially my teacher's best friend. MLIA

Today, decided to wear an XL tshirt instead of just a large into bball practice because my coach has been wanting me to lose weight. I got 3 compliments that I looked thinner. I've gained 3 pounds. MLIA.

Today, I wore swimming goggles for the first time underwater. The view was so breathtaking that I gasped in amazement. Bad move. MLIA

Today, I was at the supermarket. I yelled "Marco" down the isle, trying to get my brothers attention. Soon after I heard about three people simultaneously yell "Polo". I felt like I had a purpose in this world. MLIA.

Today, I was driving and I noticed a Geico billboard that had been changed. Someone crossed out "So easy a caveman can do it" and spray painted "So easy a MUGGLE can do it." I want to find the person responsible and marry them. MLIA

Today I was watching Aladin. I had to go to the bathroom and right as I got up the man talking in the beginning said, "No! Don't go!" I sat right back down and watched the whole thing. MLIA

Today, my mom bought a shirt that said "That's what she said" on it. I had to explain it to her. Now my dad says "That's what she said" all the time at all the right moments. My mom still doesn't get it. MLIA

A few days ago, I noticed that a spider is living above my bedroom window. I've named him Frederic. I told Frederic that he needs to pay rent by killing all of the mosquitos in my room. I have yet to be bitten by a mosquito. I feel as though I have found myself a personal body guard. MLIA.

Today, my dad was calling the computer shop to ask them why after a month they still hadn't fixed my computer. The shop is called "Computer Wizards." My dad told them "You're more like computer muggles!" I am so proud. MLIA

Today, I noticed that the options on the ATM were not "Yes" and "No", but rather "Yes, Please" and "No, Thank You". I thought it was nice that some computer programmer allowed me to be polite with the machine that gives me money. MLIA

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he was too immature to commit to a real adult relationship. I ranted about how pathetic he was on my facebook status. His mum 'liked' my status. I think we just bonded over how pathetic her son his. MLIA

Today, I decided to try some new shampoo. I tried Axe, even though I'm a girl, because I like the way it smells. Other girls have been complimenting my hair all day. The commercials do not lie. MLIA

Today, my friend's phone pocket dialed me and in the background I heard people ordering fries. I hung up the phone and texted my friend telling her to get me some fries too. Now I feel like a ninja. MLIA

Today, I made a sandwich. Then I ate it. After that I was still hungry, so I made another sandwich. Halfway throught that one I realized I wasn't hungry as I thought, but finished it anyway because I didn't want the two half-sandwiches to be seperated. MLIA

like i said, pretty dang epic, huh?

ahaha thats all for now,
Sophia(:

School Supplies

Today, I went to Staples. I found packages of filler paper for 1 cent each. I felt like I totally scored. MLIA

Mood: bored
Song: Knock You Down- Keri Hilson

Quote of the Day: "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."

Ohmyfreakinggoodness, you know what I did today? I went school supply shopping with jiseo! So we went to staples and everything was so expensive! So we only got a couple things. My personal favorite was a pack of filler paper for a penny! But then we walked over to target and I was just like WOAH! You know what I did? I got crayons for a quarter! And then I got stuff like 4 notebooks for 60 cents, 10 really good markers for 6 dollars, 10 highlighters for $4, 2 black pearl erasers for $2, packs of notecards for 50 cents each, and binders for $2.50 verses the $7 at staples. Get going to target for school supplies!

ahaha well thats all I have to say for today. You guys wanna give me more ideas for stuff to put in my blogs? I already to MLIA stories, mood, song, and quotes. ahaha come up with stuff, yeah?

mkay thats all for now,
Sophia(:

its been a week

Coz I've been gone for so long, I'm gonna do twoo mlia stories for ya'll

Today, I wrote a parady to the song "birthday sex". I call it "break up text". I think it came out bombass. MLIA.

Today, I had a dream that AJ Rafael died. MLIA.

Mood: TIRED!
Song: Man in the mirror- Michael Jackson

Quote of the Day: "We we're given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to lisen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find. "

Okay, so I know it's been a while, but I've totally been having a life lately. I'm so proud! X] So anyways, just because i have nothing better to do, I am going to talk about my day!

So today, I woke up and got dressed for church. I was highly amused when we got there. The usher was trying to fit people in our row because it was the only row with a couple seats available. It was 11am mass, so it was pretty crowded. The usher then motioned a group of people to sit next to me. In my head I was saying "ughh! theres no more room! Find another row for them!" I then started laughing because it was my aunt and cousin. Amusing right? X] Anyways, then when i got home, I had a baked potato! Then my dad drove me over to the amazing kristen sang's house and we waited for matt le to come pick us up. His cousin was with him and i do not know him. I think his name was andrew? ahaha i don't know. So then we picked up allison picket and we we're done! X] so then we drove all the way to jeremy gozzip's beach house in newport. I'm not even kidding, as soon as we got there, we went to the beach! me and kristen went shell hunting! I have so many! And then we dug a HUGE hole! but then the waves we're getting really high so we decided to build a moat! and behind the moat was a wall! just in case ;D and you know, suprisingly, IT WORKED! We were happy and shocked at the same time! Pretty cool, don't cha think? Ahaha then we went back to the house and biked all the way over to Ruby's! But man, it was far! And everyone was going so freakingg fast! Kristen and I actually got separated and lost 5 times. But hey, those are the things we look back and laugh at! We talked alot and took tons of pictures! My pictures are pretty. Oh, and now me, kristen, and jeremy have a line of fashion towels with kristen as the designer, jeremy as the model, and me as the photographer! ahaha dont even ask how it happened. coz i dont even know.

Ahaha so that was my day. It's all I could think of to blog about.

mkay thats all for now,
Sophia(:

Okay, so...

Today, somebody called looking for a pizza place. Instead of telling them they had the wrong number I took their order. I felt devious. MLIA
ahahaha not my story, but I thought that was hilarious!

Mood: better(:
Song: Fireflies- Owl City

Ahaha mkay, so I need to be happier :D On the 22nd, pit had a supprise party for jeremygozzip! ahaha it was fun. Ima upload the video of him comming through the door. It's freaking hilarious man! X] ahaha and then his actual party was yesterday. The end-ishh was kinda not good for a little bit coz of the "Utah Kids". I swear they were high. and then of course, the drunk kids comming in and staring at us and saying "yeah, we're really in to asian girls". im sorry, but that was kinda creepy. and then the girl that "lost" her friends and asked to use the bathroom X] ahaha. darn, my spirit just isn't in to blogging right now. I'll blog more laterr.

Oh, and I had to get this in here:

Exactly a week ago today, Andy died. I'm still not over it. I don't think I ever will be. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. You we're so amazing. How could I not ask you what was wrong? I'm so sorry. Rest In Paradise.

mkay thats all for now,
Sophia(:

Rest In Paradise, Andy

Okay, this blog isnt going to be like one of my regular posts. I feel like i should be writing this today.

On Wednesday night I found out that a very good friend of mine took his own life on Sunday. He was on vacation in colarado, and to my understanding he jumped off of something. I dont have details, and i suppose i dont really even want them. I dont want to think about what happened. I dont want him to be remembered badly. He was one of a kind. I really regret not getting closer to him because now, i will never have the chance. I really dont want to think like that though. I want to remember what I did know. He could make anyone laugh. No matter how crappy i was feeling, that kid could always make me feel better. I think I'm still going through the motions: crying, denial, blaming myself, getting mad at him... I'm pretty sure its normal, but as far as denial goes, i keep thinking this is some sick joke, and andy is gonna come back at make me forgive him. I do have valid reasons for believing he's still out there somewhere. His sisters arent allowed to see him or attend his funeral? thats crazy. Someone claiming to have webcamed with him yesterday? thats even crazier. I blamed myself for not being there for him. I started loosing touch with him. If i had just been there. Just once. Talked to him. It mightve saved him. And then there was being 100% pissed at him. How could he take his own life? Why the eff would he do that to me? to his other friends? to his family? I was mad at him for a day. I just couldnt believe he would do that. What I'm going through right now is just... i'm scared. He didn't believe in God. It wasnt his time. I honestly want to believe he's in a better place. I've been praying for him ever since i found out he was dead. I hope that God took him in. I pray he's in heaven. I want the best for him. I'm just so worried that he isn't. That he took his own life for nothing. I cant believe his life was that miserable that he just ended it. I loved him so much. He was like a brother to me. I miss him. I want him back. I guess, i dont know what to believe right now. Is he dead? Is he alive? I suppose it's something i wont find out for a while. I just hope he's happy. I hope he found what he was looking for. I love you, Andy. So much. Please remember that. Where ever you are. Just know i'm here, praying for you, giving my respects to your family, and most importantly, just remember me. I wish to God i knew where you we're. I love you, Andy. Rest in Paradise.

and i guess thats all for now,
Sophia

woah man. a couple days to talk about

Today, I realized that in the past 4 days, I have practiced 38 hours total at Ayala. MLISooooA

Mood: hehe(:
Song for the mood: She was mine- AJ Rafael and Jesse Barrera

So yeaah, band camp was pretty much the reason why I havent posted in a while. i meant to post at megans partaaay on the 14th but i got side tracked X]

July 14th: megans party was pretty dang fun :D all nighters, water balloon fights, watching scary chinese movies, playing life, hearing people yell "i suck at life!", laughing at people yelling that they suck at life, making pancakes with princess, taking pictures of megan and isabella while they were sleeping, leaving my pillow at megans, need i go on? X]

July 15th: the next day i saw harry potter with megan :D and making isabella look like she was talking to herself! yaay!

July 16th: i stayed home all day! ;D

July 17th: First day of july camp. Practice was from 12 to 9 and we met ayala's new principal. i was impressed! she seems really nice and all the drumline instructors say pretty good things about her! She got us all hotdogs and hamburgers, and DAMN! they were goood! we got an hour to eat coz they took so long to make, but it was worth it! Oh! and it was stephanie hsu's birthday! i made her a hella huge card and me, nicole, and trenton decorated her synth cart! it came out so pretty! :D

July 18th: Second day of band camp. Practice was from 9 to 9, so we got two meal breaks. Lunch was an hour and dinner was an hour, which is longer than we all expected. Pit played mafia and big booty! ahahaha we have a hella lot planned for us to hang :D

July 19th: Technically, this was the last day of "band camp" even though drumline had practice the next day. Loooong day. But it was well worth it in the end because we played through the entire show with the ENTIRE band. the sound was freakingg amazing man. And honestly, i feel like i have a better friendship with alot of the people in front ensamble :D oh! and nicole ulgado drove home for the first time! i was so proud :']

July 20th: Woo hoo. monday. i wanted to be home so bad! i was hella tired after 3 looong days. anyways, practice was from 1 to 9. We spent about two hours taking everything apart, cleaning it, and putting it all back together. then we had to count all of the broken sticks we were sending back to promark so we could get new ones. Then we practiced for about an hour and then we had "unity games". Even though every one pretty much knows each other, we still had to talk about ourselves. name, grade, instrument, and something "interesting" about ourselves. "uh, im sophia. im gonna be a freshman. i do auxillary, and i dont like talking about myself" and this was followed by awwwwwwww's. originally i was gonna say that i'm really in to photography but nooo. two people before me just HAD to steel that! anyways we did three games. the first one was a bit... akward. the second was gross! egg toss and it broke in my hand D: ahaha and the third one just blistered my hands! i dont even know what game it was but it hurt. X] then we had dinner and i went to mcdonalds! :D so glad vivian has a car! X] then after dinner, we had a powwow for TWO HOURS! it was actually really nice being able to talk about goals, and things we want for the ensamble. we all got pretty dang deep man. then we practiced for another hour and got through the whole opener WITHOUT a met! and we didnt completely fall apart! woooo!

July 21st: which finally brings me to today! i did absolutely nothing! ;D

mkay thats all for now,
sophia(:

Beaches, Guys, and Birthday Times

Today, I made fun of the title of a jonas brothers cd called "Lines, Vines, and Tryin Times" by titling this blog "Beaches, Guys, and Birthday Times" I felt like a pulled a huge prank on the jonas brothers. MLIA

Mood: I have no idea X]
Song for the mood: Paranoid- Jonas Brothers

Topic Numba ONEE!

So I went to the beach today. There was a sign that said "No collection of plants, seeds, or tidepool animals or shells." I took a shell coz I thought it was really pretty. Nothing happened. I feel like a badass ninja with a super cool souvenir to remember my pro-ness X]

Topic Numba TWOO!

Question of the day: Why do guys make it so hard to carry on a conversation?

Just in case any of you are reading this, im talking about NOLAN, JIMMY, RYAN, MICHAEL, and MATT

goodness gracious, what is wrong with you boys? its likee I'm trying to have a conversation and you all reply with these simple 1-2 word answers and then im like 0________0 err... what the heck do i say now?
ahaha really, its not that big a deal though. i guess its just a pet pieve.

Topic Numba THREE!

So many birthdays lately!

the awesome KatrinaLopez just turned 14 yesterday
HannaLee just turned 13 on the 5th
On the 17th StephanieHsu and DavidBae are turning 16 and 14
MeganRamiro is turning 14 on the 14th! how cool is that? X]
LizDimaano is gonna be 14 in twoo days!
JeremyGozzip's birthday is on the 23rd

and as far as i know, thats it X]
purrtty cool
wish them all happy birthdays, yeah?

mkay thats all for now,
sophia(:

dang.

Today, I got grounded and yelled at because I did what i was told to do. MLIA

Mood: kinda pissed D:
Song for the mood: Last Resort- Papa Roach

well today has not exactly been fun so far. I'm sure that i'm not the only one this has happened to, but im gonna talk about it anyway! or better yet, here is the conversation that took place!

so there I was, sitting on the couch, watching t.v. and minding my own business, when suddenly:

mom: sophia! can you please stop watching t.v. in your pj's? go get dressed.
sophia: alrightyy
mom: please hurry

so then i go and pick out some clothes, when all of a sudden:

mom: sophia! i told you to get washed up! get washed up NOW!
sophia: im getting my clothes ready. i'll do it in a second!
mom: i dont appriciate your attitude! you are GROUNDED untill SUNDAY

she said sunday because she told me i could do stuff on saturday. as far as i can tell, i did not do anything wrong. i did what she told me. i think shes pmsing. i hope she does start stalking me coz then i'll get yelled at for writing this D:

oh and before I forget, today is the AMAZING katrina lopez's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA! you guys should all go wish her a happy 14th birthday, yeah?

and on the topic of birthdays: meganramiro's birthday is in 5 days! yaaaay! :D

mkay thats all for now,
sophia(:

time for something new

well hello there(:

mood:bored i guess? but on the happy side [:
and the song to fit that mood: Skyway Avenue- We the Kings

okay, so I am just so amazingly cool that i got bored and figured i would take up some of my freetime to make a blogg today. so here i am. wow. this is fun.

ahaha jusskeeeding, but in all seriousness, i have a feeling this is gonna be like of the mylifeisaverage stories. hm, maybe thats how i should start. it can be my thaang. X]

oh and this video made my day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZtiRdc2jo4
aj rafaels 2nd youtube channel. go check him out!


mkay thats all for now,
sophia(: